01 June, ’16 5:00
I wake with thoughts swirling to life. What was I even dreaming? I try to roll over and sleep but it’s difficult because I have an aching uterus that needs a release.
I wake up again to an obligatory text message that I make note to answer later (sorry!) and a bunch of e-mails from the blog. If I’m not too busy doing nothing today, it would be a productive day.
I have to see bae in twenty minutes. It’s been three months to us today, which is not as long as three years but we’ll take what we get. See here’s the thing: in these twenty years on planet Earth, I have never felt so welcomed. Celebrated. Appreciated. Loved. All at once. I know I know, I’m too young to know what love is until I’m married for 50 years and have grandchildren to spoil. I’ll get to that as well. But you know when you know, when you find someone looking at you like you are more precious than any goddamn thing in the world, you know.
I am such a mush at this moment, my tiny heart might explode. Being in love makes you feel so alive, flips the way you see the world a whole 360°. There are no rules between us; we double text all the time, we get each other food and we can’t get enough of each other. I guess it’s because I told myself that I don’t have to take the burden of promising my love for forever; it’s that I have to simply love today and continue it tomorrow. And even if I don’t feel it or am frustrated for some reason (because I am only human), I have another tomorrow to work on it. Baby steps.
Is it only me or does everyone feel like giving up on their life and just nap post lunch? After taking a bunch of photographs for my Instagram, I think I should pay my brother to update my feed so I can sleep for a millennium.
In between texts and making myself some lemonade (I’m obsessed, okay?), I feel content. It’s a rare feeling but it’s there. I feel like this is where I have to be, this is how it all should be and I am satisfied with life.
I have been meaning to post something but couldn’t figure out as to what I should type. With a large number of people here who an email update would go on this post (regardless if they read or not), I have to be reasonable with what I write. So here I am, starting at the blank blog page and looking for words inside my head.
I think I know what to write…